Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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