We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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