JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
