My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
