Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just google imaged poop.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
