How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
