went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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