is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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