I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
