It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
