lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize