I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
