It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
