After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
