I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
