His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
