sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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