dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
