Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
