Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
