If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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