Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
