new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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