I didn't shave. On purpose
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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