Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Please don't give away my fajitas
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