apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
