she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
