What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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