Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
