No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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