people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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