it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
