Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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