She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize