Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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