We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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