Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Shame - the story of my life.
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