I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You have to summon your inner elephant
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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