I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize