I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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