I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
