She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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