it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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