I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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