I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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