So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
