i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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