Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
