He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
