it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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