this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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