i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
