dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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