my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just found a bag of teeth...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
