He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
