Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
