Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
