he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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