How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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