The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
