First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
