We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
