oh god the rape fog is back!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
