1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
