All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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