We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
