im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
