And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
