She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
