I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize