Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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