can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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