Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
