Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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