is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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