so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
